Monday, October 4, 2010

The Last Goodbye

Missing you is like a stinging pain that was brought by a stab in my heart. I shouldn't be feeling this because in the first place we're not an item and never was an item even before. You're like a drug that I couldn't take out from my system. I am doing everything to forget you and even not remember all the good memories we shared---the latenight exchange of sms, the unexpected phonecalls---every bit of it is what I'm trying so hard diminish from my memory. All I want to remember are the empty promises you had made. Why is it so hard!?!

I don't know how it's like to love somebody until you came into my life. You touched my life in a way that I couldn't explain but you were also the one who poach my heart. You made it bleed a million times but thanks to some people who made me strong.
You were once the love of my life, the apple of my eye. My world revolved around you but it's over now! Enough is enough! It's over and done.

I'm sorry but I'm so tired of waiting for you to notice that I'm just here. I wish you all the happiness you desreve! I wish that all your endeavors will succeed. And that someday when we will meet, we could smile at each other. Face each other with no regret that we ended up this way, have some peep talks and share some coolest stories.

Thanks for everything Papa Bear, Nii-sama, Nesarang, Yobo, angel, Mark Ryan! Thanks for making me a tough person, for being my inspiration, for being there to lift and cheer me up during the toughest times of my life. Now, I realized that we may have ended our relationship as more than friends but I know our friendship will last for a lifetime. I don't really know how to end this. Let me just put it this way, by stating a few lines of a very popular song...I'm not the one you needing, I love you, goodbye...

girl crying in rain Pictures, Images and Photos

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

I knew it wasn't my fault but why do I have the feeling that the blame is on me. I'm only human. I'm neither superwoman nor wonderwoman. I too have feelings and instinct. Enough to discern that something is pretty wrong.

I really wanna shout 'til I couldn't feel what I'm feeling right now. I've done everything but I think it isn't working. How can I say sorry if it wasn't really my fault? How?

I'd already explained myself. If sorry is what you wanted to hear, then I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I had ruined your day and made you bad trip and angry.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Graduation Fidgets

Two months to go and we're off to the playing field of seeking jobs! Finally, after years of sleepless nights, we're here at last to face a new chapter of our lives!

March is pretty much approaching. Graduation is just days away. As what our professors said, 'nanimaho na ug toga'. Lot of strange feelings are encountered---anxious, excited, worried, happy.

Anxious that we might not pass all our requirements on time. That our professors will fail us.

Excited cause finally our parents will be beside us, walk us down the aisle and see us as we take a bow and get our diplomas. We're also excited to prepare for our graduation ball. Go through boutiques to rent gowns, scan some magazines to choose a hairstyle that will match our dress, made some arrangements for the car to drive us to the venue. Excited to take a pose for our photo shoots for our souvenir book.

Worried that we might not cope up with the finances that are needed for us to pay our obligations.

Happy that we had gone a long way and now we're about to reap the labor of our hard works.

Graduation is such a fun and memorable day but also a sad one for we will be separated from each other. We'll go our separate lives and move forward to a new world. But definitely, we will keep memories and the bond that we had will not be broken and last for as long as we are friends! Our journey hadn't ended yet but just starting!

Friday, January 1, 2010

Leaving the Past Behind, Looking Forward for the Best Things

It's January 1, 2010, the first day of the new year! All the bad things---disappointments, frustrations, regrets---were already left behind. But there's just one thing that I have kept---a love story that never had reached its ending.

I think most people had their own new year's resolution. I, myself have one too. I just had three things. First is to never doubt God's plans. I'd been through a lot of tough times last year but because of God, I had surpass all those trials. Second, live my life to the fullest. I'd been living my life in a way that I don't have a free reign in all the things I do because every decision I made have been influenced by some people. This year, I'll decide on my own. Last but not the least is never to let some habit manipulate me. I have this habit of not letting go of things unless it's done in a good way like you can say let bygones be bygones.

I am pretty sure that I can do the two things on my list. But I cannot assure that I can do the last thing. Unfortunately, I can't let go of a love story that had neither began nor ended. I don't know if I have something to hold and hope for. The future is really uncertain. I can't tell when will I stop hoping for a happy ending. Neither can I tell when will he notice that I'm just always here for him.

Difficult as it may seem but I'll try my very best to not let this love story be the center of my universe. With the help of the people who loved and cherished me, I know I can make things work. As the song of Stacie Orrico says "There's gonna be more to life than chasing out every temporary heights to satisfy me".

Truly, there's more to life than waiting for a love that hasn't find its way yet.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Are you real?

It's been awhile since we had a sincere talk and I'm really missing you. I don't know why I'm still holding on even though I don't know if I own your heart. I'd been dumb and wrong and yes i had let you down but please can we bring yesterday back around?

The days when we would sleep late at dawn, talking about some silly stuffs, sharing our wildest dreams and even uplifting each other when we were in deep trouble. Calling up each other late at night, sharing every thoughts, laughing out loud at every corny jokes.

I had made some mistakes but I do hope you'll forgive me. I had given away one of the things I was keeping for you. I was so lost and you were never near me. I regretted what I have done but I do hope you'll understand and still take me as who I am.

Is it too much to ask for your affection? for your sweet, kind, tender words? Only God knows what I'm going through right now.

May be you are the angel sent to me by God to guide me and reminds me to be tough always. Our paths didn't cross for nothing. You'll always occupy a big spot in this throbbing part of my chest. Sa rang he my love!

Monday, June 22, 2009

A Review on the Pirates of the Silicon Valley

Long ago, before Microsoft Windows Operating System existed, a tale of glory and downfall at Apple Inc. was already depicted.

Steve Jobs and Stephen Wozniak formed Apple Computer 1976 to market the Apple I, a computer circuit board that they had designed and built in Jobs’s garage in Los Altos, California. They scrapped their plan to sell the board alone when Jobs’s first sales call yielded an order for 50 units. They were, however, sold without monitor, keyboard, or casing. The company was incorporated in January 1977 by the charismatic Jobs, the meditative inventor Wozniak, and their new partner and chairman, Mike Markkula. Markkula brought credibility, maturity, engineering and product management experience, and an extremely broad-based knowledge of the business world, as well as investment cash of his own and contacts among Silicon Valley’s venture capitalists. Markkula also recruited all of Apple’s outside board members and lured away managers from other major high-technology firms, including Hewlett-Packard, Intel, and National Semiconductor.

It was in 1983 Apple introduced the Lisa, a personal computer designed for business use that incorporated a handheld mouse to select commands and control an on-screen cursor. The Lisa was followed in 1984 by the Macintosh personal computer, based on the 68000 microprocessor manufactured by Motorola. Like the Lisa, the Macintosh, also known as the Mac, incorporated a graphical user interface, which made the computer easy to operate for the novice user.

However, it was that time that Bill Gates was on loose. He befriended Steve Jobs in order to improved Windows Operating System. Due to this, sales of Apple dropped and Steve Jobs was fired as Apple's Chairman of the Board of Directors. But in 1996, he returned to Apple
as a part-time consultant and in 2000 Jobs accepted the role of permanent chief executive officer and dropped the word interim from his title.

It was depicted on this movie on how big dreams became a reality. Apple just started running business on the garage of Steve Job's house until it became a leading computer company in the world. It can also be drawn from this movie that in order for a business to succeed, risk should be taken. It's like as though everything is a gamble. Competition is always at hand so a company should keep on innovating and reuse other technology. "Keep your friends close, your enemies closer", this was a line said by Bill Gates. Quite true. In this world that's full of sham and drudgery, it is a must to befriend your enemies in order to keep up with them. However, I could not agree on what Steve Jobs did to the mother of his daughter and to his daughter. In reaching a goal, people who happened to be there must not be driven away and be sacrificed. How can you be happy when you had reached your goal but then only to find out that the people who had loved you are not on your side anymore?

Dreams are not impossible to reach but then prices are at stake. Sometimes we don't noticed that in reaching our dreams we had sacrificed important people in our lives. We had wrong others that are part of our success. Life is what we make as they say and so we must learn to live each day knowing that we did our best not to hurt anyone.