The Last Goodbye

Missing you is like a stinging pain that was brought by a stab in my heart. I shouldn't be feeling this because in the first place we're not an item and never was an item even before. You're like a drug that I couldn't take out from my system. I am doing everything to forget you and even not remember all the good memories we shared---the latenight exchange of sms, the unexpected phonecalls---every bit of it is what I'm trying so hard diminish from my memory. All I want to remember are the empty promises you had made. Why is it so hard!?!

I don't know how it's like to love somebody until you came into my life. You touched my life in a way that I couldn't explain but you were also the one who poach my heart. You made it bleed a million times but thanks to some people who made me strong.

You were once the love of my life, the apple of my eye. My world revolved around you but it's over now! Enough is enough! It's over and done.

I'm sorry but I'm so tired of waiting for you to notice that I'm just here. I wish you all the happiness you desreve! I wish that all your endeavors will succeed. And that someday when we will meet, we could smile at each other. Face each other with no regret that we ended up this way, have some peep talks and share some coolest stories.

Thanks for everything Papa Bear, Nii-sama, Nesarang, Yobo, angel, Mark Ryan! Thanks for making me a tough person, for being my inspiration, for being there to lift and cheer me up during the toughest times of my life. Now, I realized that we may have ended our relationship as more than friends but I know our friendship will last for a lifetime. I don't really know how to end this. Let me just put it this way, by stating a few lines of a very popular song...I'm not the one you needing, I love you, goodbye...

Sorry Seems to be the Hardest Word

I knew it wasn't my fault but why do I have the feeling that the blame is on me. I'm only human. I'm neither superwoman nor wonderwoman. I too have feelings and instinct. Enough to discern that something is pretty wrong.

I really wanna shout 'til I couldn't feel what I'm feeling right now. I've done everything but I think it isn't working. How can I say sorry if it wasn't really my fault? How?

I'd already explained myself. If sorry is what you wanted to hear, then I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I had ruined your day and made you bad trip and angry.

Graduation Fidgets

Two months to go and we're off to the playing field of seeking jobs! Finally, after years of sleepless nights, we're here at last to face a new chapter of our lives!

March is pretty much approaching. Graduation is just days away. As what our professors said, 'nanimaho na ug toga'. Lot of strange feelings are encountered---anxious, excited, worried, happy.

Anxious that we might not pass all our requirements on time. That our professors will fail us.

Excited cause finally our parents will be beside us, walk us down the aisle and see us as we take a bow and get our diplomas. We're also excited to prepare for our graduation ball. Go through boutiques to rent gowns, scan some magazines to choose a hairstyle that will match our dress, made some arrangements for the car to drive us to the venue. Excited to take a pose for our photo shoots for our souvenir book.

Worried that we might not cope up with the finances that are needed for us to pay our obligations.

Happy that we had gone a long way and now we're about to reap the labor of our hard works.

Graduation is such a fun and memorable day but also a sad one for we will be separated from each other. We'll go our separate lives and move forward to a new world. But definitely, we will keep memories and the bond that we had will not be broken and last for as long as we are friends! Our journey hadn't ended yet but just starting!

Leaving the Past Behind, Looking Forward for the Best Things

It's January 1, 2010, the first day of the new year! All the bad things---disappointments, frustrations, regrets---were already left behind. But there's just one thing that I have kept---a love story that never had reached its ending.

I think most people had their own new year's resolution. I, myself have one too. I just had three things. First is to never doubt God's plans. I'd been through a lot of tough times last year but because of God, I had surpass all those trials. Second, live my life to the fullest. I'd been living my life in a way that I don't have a free reign in all the things I do because every decision I made have been influenced by some people. This year, I'll decide on my own. Last but not the least is never to let some habit manipulate me. I have this habit of not letting go of things unless it's done in a good way like you can say let bygones be bygones.

I am pretty sure that I can do the two things on my list. But I cannot assure that I can do the last thing. Unfortunately, I can't let go of a love story that had neither began nor ended. I don't know if I have something to hold and hope for. The future is really uncertain. I can't tell when will I stop hoping for a happy ending. Neither can I tell when will he notice that I'm just always here for him.

Difficult as it may seem but I'll try my very best to not let this love story be the center of my universe. With the help of the people who loved and cherished me, I know I can make things work. As the song of Stacie Orrico says "There's gonna be more to life than chasing out every temporary heights to satisfy me".

Truly, there's more to life than waiting for a love that hasn't find its way yet.