The Last Goodbye

Missing you is like a stinging pain that was brought by a stab in my heart. I shouldn't be feeling this because in the first place we're not an item and never was an item even before. You're like a drug that I couldn't take out from my system. I am doing everything to forget you and even not remember all the good memories we shared---the latenight exchange of sms, the unexpected phonecalls---every bit of it is what I'm trying so hard diminish from my memory. All I want to remember are the empty promises you had made. Why is it so hard!?!

I don't know how it's like to love somebody until you came into my life. You touched my life in a way that I couldn't explain but you were also the one who poach my heart. You made it bleed a million times but thanks to some people who made me strong.

You were once the love of my life, the apple of my eye. My world revolved around you but it's over now! Enough is enough! It's over and done.

I'm sorry but I'm so tired of waiting for you to notice that I'm just here. I wish you all the happiness you desreve! I wish that all your endeavors will succeed. And that someday when we will meet, we could smile at each other. Face each other with no regret that we ended up this way, have some peep talks and share some coolest stories.

Thanks for everything Papa Bear, Nii-sama, Nesarang, Yobo, angel, Mark Ryan! Thanks for making me a tough person, for being my inspiration, for being there to lift and cheer me up during the toughest times of my life. Now, I realized that we may have ended our relationship as more than friends but I know our friendship will last for a lifetime. I don't really know how to end this. Let me just put it this way, by stating a few lines of a very popular song...I'm not the one you needing, I love you, goodbye...

Leaving the Past Behind, Looking Forward for the Best Things

It's January 1, 2010, the first day of the new year! All the bad things---disappointments, frustrations, regrets---were already left behind. But there's just one thing that I have kept---a love story that never had reached its ending.

I think most people had their own new year's resolution. I, myself have one too. I just had three things. First is to never doubt God's plans. I'd been through a lot of tough times last year but because of God, I had surpass all those trials. Second, live my life to the fullest. I'd been living my life in a way that I don't have a free reign in all the things I do because every decision I made have been influenced by some people. This year, I'll decide on my own. Last but not the least is never to let some habit manipulate me. I have this habit of not letting go of things unless it's done in a good way like you can say let bygones be bygones.

I am pretty sure that I can do the two things on my list. But I cannot assure that I can do the last thing. Unfortunately, I can't let go of a love story that had neither began nor ended. I don't know if I have something to hold and hope for. The future is really uncertain. I can't tell when will I stop hoping for a happy ending. Neither can I tell when will he notice that I'm just always here for him.

Difficult as it may seem but I'll try my very best to not let this love story be the center of my universe. With the help of the people who loved and cherished me, I know I can make things work. As the song of Stacie Orrico says "There's gonna be more to life than chasing out every temporary heights to satisfy me".

Truly, there's more to life than waiting for a love that hasn't find its way yet.

Are you real?

It's been awhile since we had a sincere talk and I'm really missing you. I don't know why I'm still holding on even though I don't know if I own your heart. I'd been dumb and wrong and yes i had let you down but please can we bring yesterday back around?

The days when we would sleep late at dawn, talking about some silly stuffs, sharing our wildest dreams and even uplifting each other when we were in deep trouble. Calling up each other late at night, sharing every thoughts, laughing out loud at every corny jokes.

I had made some mistakes but I do hope you'll forgive me. I had given away one of the things I was keeping for you. I was so lost and you were never near me. I regretted what I have done but I do hope you'll understand and still take me as who I am.

Is it too much to ask for your affection? for your sweet, kind, tender words? Only God knows what I'm going through right now.

May be you are the angel sent to me by God to guide me and reminds me to be tough always. Our paths didn't cross for nothing. You'll always occupy a big spot in this throbbing part of my chest. Sa rang he my love!